Ruby was thinking to herself, "It always seems so rude and presumptuous to make a Christmas list for oneself; however, when you are out shopping for people you love, it is always helpful to have the hints one provides."
She was planning her weekend jaunt of Christmas shopping.
"It is always so obvious when someone receives a gift from you that they don't really want, they unconvincingly feign gratitude. Then feigned gladness at their feigned gratitude is returned. It is all very awkward!"
Therefore, to those loved ones whom she knows will be shopping for her, she provides the following list. This is not because she has not genuinely loved the gifts she has received the past from them. Also, it is not because she absolutely demands a gift be given to her at all. It is because she wishes to ease their pain when trying to decide upon something if they find themselve in such a dilemma.
"I also desire a similar list from those who know I will be shopping for them."
Ruby Hardbottle's Christmas suggestions....
Dish towels and dish rags
Bath towels
Shower gel
A telephone with a caller ID window
A great big roomy bathrobe
CDs: Dean Martin, Rosemary Clooney, Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra
DVDs: (Old movies, romantic comedies)
Digital camera
"These are just suggestions" Ruby said. "I know that if there is something above and beyond this list that has been chosen, I will be thrilled that you felt the desire to give me a gift at all, no matter what it is."
Ruby's solo: Santa Baby
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be oh so good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo
Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's
Not a lot
I've been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean a phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
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